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Little bit of the mill to New Year's mood

Little bit of the mill to New Year's mood At Cecil's editorial email arrives a year where everything, including the hilarious anecdotes and incidents from the life. A few quirks we hid on opportunity today. Today is the right time to share with you some funny mail shipment ..

Many men would leave the house, if only you knew how to pack.

Modern medicine is a miracle. Thanks to them, the woman with pneumonia can take care of a man with a fever.

Motto for every woman: "I am a beautiful woman. To others just eat a few carrots."

What is the difference between female and male friendship?
Woman comes home early in the morning and tells her husband that she was with her friend. Husband obtelefonuje eight of his wife's friends, who all deny.
He comes home early in the morning and the man tells the woman that was with a friend. My wife calls her husband of eight friends, three of whom say that for them and the rest that is still with them.

User: "Why should I pay some fee for the burner and media, if I do not steal anything?"
The legislature: "Because you have a tool."
User: "So I close neighbor of rape!"
The legislature: "You raped a neighbor?"
User: "No, but I have a tool!"

Jirka in the student book will note: Your son has no knowledge.
Credited Father: That's why they go to school.

Dad, they moved me to a special school.
Well, son, if you can do it and work hard.

A pessimist sees the darkness of the tunnel. The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees the lights of the train. The driver sees three idiots on the tracks.

Little boy playing with a new engine train stops and says, "You bastards who want to stand out, so let's quickly do, because the train ends. And those bastards who want to get on and get his train is leaving."
Horrified mother ran into the living room and says his son, that this house is not dirty talk and whether it is a punishment for 2 hours in your room, then you can play again. The boy comes out after two hours and goes to play with a toy train. The train stopped and the boy said: "The travelers who want to stand out and let you do this, because the train ends this stop. Thank you lived with us the beautiful moments and look forward to another trip with you." My mother looks at her son and beautiful smiles. The boy says, "And those who are pissed because 2 hours delayed, so they go thank you pig in the kitchen."

We were dressed and ready to leave for New Year's Eve celebration. We lit night light, turned the answering machine, and covered the cage with a bird chased the cat into the yard. We called and ordered a taxi cab. Taxi arrived and we left the house through the front door. When we left, the cat, we drove into the yard, slipped beneath our feet back into the house.
We did not want to stay inside the house, because he is always there alone, trying to eat budgie. My wife went to sit in the cab and I ran into the house, I drove the cat out of the house into the yard. The cat but I ran upstairs and I had to run after her. His wife, who still waited in the taxi did not want the taxi driver knew that the house will be empty all night. She said because taxi drivers, be right back, I'm just going to say good night her mom (my mother in law). After a few minutes I sat in the cab beside his wife. "Sorry it took me so long," I said when we started up. "That bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to fuck her in the ass hanger to come out of this! Tried to escape me, so I grabbed her by the throat. Then I still had to wrap her in a blanket to me that swine scratch. Ale - managed now! I dragged her down the stairs and threw back yard! Hope fucks again at the door! "
The silence in the cab was charming ...

The confession comes drunk, sits down and says nothing. Besides the priest loses his temper easily and coughs. Nothing. A little more coughs. Again, nothing. Let's start tapping on the wall so that it finally showed sinner and said something.
From the other side says "Tukas unnecessarily, there's not toilet paper!"

It is a hare through the woods screaming, "I nailed a lioness!"
He meets a wolf and the wolf said, "Hey, hares, shut up. Want it to hear a lion? And besides, no one will believe you!"
Hare running away and screaming: "I nailed a lioness!'ve Nailed lioness!"
He meets a bear and the bear: "Hares, shut up. Lev hear it, pissed and problems we all have! And besides, no one will believe you!"
A hare casually, "I nailed a lioness!'ve Nailed lioness!'ve Nailed lioness!" Suddenly there appeared a lion. Enraged at the highest level of chasing the hare. Chasing him a hare suddenly jumped into the old of hollow trunk. Lev for them, but somehow got stuck there. Hare bypasses the lion approaches him from behind, looking around, unzipping and says, "Well, this one really had me believe."

The woman dozing on the bench accede cop discreetly whispers to her: "Lady, you have discovered one boob ..." The lady looks at him in horror and exclaims: "Damn breast, but where's my baby?"

Elder, bike moving master, stopped a police patrol at night:
"Where are you going so late at night?"
"The lecture on the harmful effects of alcohol, tobacco, and nightlife on the human body."
The cop asks incredulously: "Please and who organizes a lecture at two in the morning?"
"As usual - my wife ..."

Young woman lying in the hospital. Just given birth. Obstetrician she says:
"Young lady. Next time you should avoid group sex."
"But why? Has something happened?" Asks the mother.
"Well, you Coon was born with red hair and blue eyes."
"A barking?"
"It's not."
"Thank God, at least it's not ..."

One day Pepíček tells parents: "You are nothing, I'm gone."
Father comes in the door and Pepíček says: "Do not try to stop me!"
Father said, "I do not stop, I'm going with you."

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