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Men and Domestic Violence

The men left gradually pushed into a corner. A major role it plays in their chivalry, but also rivalry. After all, how many of them willingly stands up for poor women who abuse a despot. And waiting for at least the sympathy of the woman. Also, you do not dare believe poor unfortunate person. What if the tyrannical man but instead we are calculating woman?

Intensive efforts feminist and other "non-profit" organization has managed to build an image in the society in which a man in relation to domestic violence fundamentally perceived as the aggressor.

At the same time these organizations (whose motivation would deserve a separate article) managed to move very meaning of the concept of domestic violence. Since actual violence to areas quite remote or vaguely formulated, such as the "economic control" or "emotional violence".

This of course increases the pressure on the man. They are now slowly have to worry about that any conflict with a woman will be marked as "domestic violence."

Drop chivalry

What to do with the growing abuse of the concept of domestic violence? It seems that men left - unfortunately - nothing but kick the chivalry (not wanting to wait Renaissance matriarchy). Does it stop wholeheartedly believe "unfortunate" women and their claims and accusations critically examined. But he's also not ashamed to turn these toxic female weapons against them. Yes, men are victims of domestic violence - and more often than those resulting from current statistics.

"Men are not perceived as victims of domestic violence, although in reality their victimization by domestic violence occurs," says a police psychologist Ludmila Čírtková. "Weak perception, unawareness of their own victimization by domestic violence, leads naturally to the fact that men do not use or exploit the least policing strategies and measures to tackle domestic violence, whether in the form of calling the police to acute incident or in the form of filing a criminal complaint. "

The same author in the journal Family Law and publishes tools to diagnose domestic violence. This includes a set of questions, identifying the presence of its various forms. Issues related to the presence of "psychological violence" So we put in an unchanged form sample male population. Men should answer whether the partner has used them against the behavior (ie, one that meets the characteristics of psychological violence).

How to behave themselves

The results are shocking. Most men confessed to them that partner (or expartnerka) used some form of what is known as psychological violence. Many of them have even met with several of its various forms.

The survey was conducted in multiple locations, and the greater part is published here . To show it, we also selected some answers. Once again it must be emphasized: Each of the questions in practice are used to identify some form of psychological violence.

Maybe you think after reading them: If men actively resisted (only) and if psychological violence, domestic violence was considered gender-balanced, we would end up in the statistics much more domestic rapists?

As also stated in the questionnaire Czech men

First Offends you and your relatives, hurts you and uses insults, ridicule, humiliation, continual criticism, often about petty?
"It offends me and my relatives belittles, berates me very often and very dirty. Scold me for trifles: dirty mug between the clean dishes in the dishwasher, dirty towel in the bathroom ... humiliated me in front of my friends sign a roommate."
"You're fat, you can not take care of the family, earn a little money, you're lazy, you're autistic."

Second Rejects dialogue, in interviews with you ignore, overlook or distorts facts, uses half-truths and lies, do not explain anything, tells you something and then denies it?

"He refuses any constructive conversation. Always argued that the problem is not my interest to have their lot. Passes My opinions are also sharp and sometimes I remind them not interested, so let them bother. Sometimes distorts reality to fit your needs - can not have business in the city, because it has a broken car, even if the car is normally driveable condition. reads me once nenachystanou breakfast when it nachystám and her dreams - because he said he had a toothache, etc. It before he found what was fact. has generally very fast courts. "
"Yes, he invents fabulation, things that never happened, exaggerates and distorts things so that she was a victim and I'm the bad guy. Any my opinion is immediately rejected and set its dictation. Something when she asks, communicates, but when I something, I ask my requests ignored and not communicating: Before children and relatives used all sorts of forms of provocation. ignorant ratios but gives its tone, not its meanness communication and behavior. "

Third You deny basic rights (eg say your opinion, call family and friends), you unreasonably limits (eg, allow you to receive promotions at work, choose clothes), prohibits you social contacts?

"It is forbidden to walk on my hobbies, socializing with friends, check mobile and correspondence."
"Once back I can see how subtly but clearly from some of my relationships (with friends - not women!) Unreasonably deter, minimize their importance, destroyed."

4th He accuses you of it, that you've provoked that she was not paying enough that you deserve everything that you can for her problems?

"Well, it was and is quite regular. Daughter from birth pangs of every moment that I have a daughter rather than her. Blamed me for her postpartum bleeding. Hesitate to use such expressions as i would have let me die in the hospital, although she paid me extra room. "
"Yes, of course, for everything I can myself. I consider that she found a new friend."

5th Intimidates you and threatens you (such as removing children own suicide or that you seriously hurt)?

"Threatening removing the child, threatening to slander me at work and between known and that its expartner me come."
"This argument is known: if you pay even their friends, hobbies, pack up and I'm not even gonna see our baby. Sad, is not it?"

6th Uses extreme control (checks you bag, mobile contacts on PC, etc.), you must report, repeatedly calling you to work, it shall check with whom you associate?

"In a day of work during several SMS if do not answer right away, and remorse that she give myself a little - it's extreme control?"
"I checked my cell phone and correspondence on Facebook, everything behind my back."

7th Punishes you for success in your job, for when you do something good out of something or you happy?

"If I like something, or this or that, I am happy it's from her perspective normal. Usual weapons was trying to spark an argument, that I gave the room and withdrew into himself."
"I'm at the stage where they do not confer much success, but when I did it before, so I always somehow knocked down to make it not such a success was not."

8th Destroys or threatens to destroy the things that you like?

"That's true, just recently told me that when you break up with her, so I burns the house."
"Throws me my books and video tapes."

9th It forces you to do things you do not want and which you seem abnormal?

"It is forbidden to me talk to the neighbors."
"I can not give my daughter a kiss, it's unsanitary, and even prohibits the daughter of speech."

10th Punishes you if she does not like something, and you feel that the punishment is humiliating for you, despise you?

"I have to apologize repeatedly and always admit his mistake and give her the truth, if I do not, provokes, causes a fight."
"One time I had to stand at the door, when I did not want to go home after a party. Repeated apologies - yes, it is common that one is never enough."

11th Does not recognize your health problems, prohibits you go to the doctor even after you caused the injury?

"It does not my health problems. Ignores them."
"He is a doctor, according to her all men are malingerers."

12th Arranged with you on something and then denied it, accusing you of it, you're lying or you made ​​it up?

"You also denies agreement, which took about ten minutes early with several witnesses, or accuse me of lying."
"Yes. Deceived even in a double clinic. Conversely blamed me that delusion. Agreement about housekeeping arbitrarily changed and nedodržiavala."

13th Instructs you what you may or may not say in contact with parents, co-workers or your doctor?

"Yes. Especially in contact with her ​​parents."
"Sometimes I say something like that. Whether coworkers before saying this and that."

14th Punishes you for things you can not control?

"Yes, it must be considered that she did something wrong."
"Daughter punished for daring to wake up at night and cry. Effort on my calm her exasperated responded with the fact that if I do not like it, so I will take and daughter. Eventually it did - and it was."

Author: Ing. Ales Hour
Source: Stří

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